When I drank alcohol, I loved how it made me feel.
When I drank alcohol, I felt more secure.
When I drank alcohol, it made social occasions more interesting.
When I drank alcohol, I felt more interesting to others in social situations.
When I drank alcohol, I felt like I was more accepted by others.
When I drank alcohol, I felt others were more comfortable around me.
When I drank alcohol, I felt I was funny.
When I drank alcohol, I felt included.
When I drank alcohol, I numbed out.
When I drank alcohol, it helped me forget my worries.
When I drank alcohol, I had judgements and resentments.
When I drank alcohol, I never enjoyed just one glass of wine.
When I drank alcohol, I could never drink just one glass of wine.
When I drank alcohol, I tried very hard to just drink one glass of wine.
When I drank alcohol, I would sometimes “take a break” from drinking.
When I drank alcohol, I wondered why I thought so much about drinking.
When I drank alcohol, I sought out those who drank like me, or more than me to ensure I was “not that bad.”
When I drank alcohol, I would wake up the morning after a night of drinking and hate feeling so sick.
When I drank alcohol, I would tell myself I would not drink today while nursing a hangover.
When I drank alcohol, I rarely, if ever, carried out that promise to myself.
When I drank alcohol, if I did carry out that promise, I was relieved because that meant I was not a problem drinker.
When I drank alcohol, I couldn’t wait until I could drink alcohol.
When I drank alcohol, I was annoyed when I wasn’t drinking alcohol.
When I drank alcohol, anything that got in the way of my drinking, irritated me.
When I drank alcohol, I wondered if people realized how much I drank.
When I drank alcohol, I wasn’t bored.
When I drank alcohol, I wanted to control everything.
When I drank alcohol, I felt out of control.
When I drank alcohol, I felt like a failure.
When I drank alcohol, I was afraid.
When I drank alcohol, I was very self-conscience.
When I drank alcohol, I thought everyone talked behind my back.
When I drank alcohol, I worried a lot.
When I drank alcohol, I got mad very easily.
When I drank alcohol, I was the victim.
When I drank alcohol, I resented how others could drink “normally.”
When I drank alcohol,
I felt ashamed;
I slept terribly;
I felt useless;
I felt worthless;
I felt pitiful;
I felt alone;
I felt heavy;
My body hurt;
I felt unimportant;
I was afraid I would die and
I was mad to wake up alive; but
I wanted to die.
I felt empty…and lost… and afraid.
~ Alcohol was not working for me anymore~
Then I stopped drinking.
I asked for help.
I received help.
I started over.
I felt relief.
I felt nervous.
I felt excitement.
I felt angry.
I felt like a teenager.
I felt better.
I felt strange.
I felt healthier.
Music sounded better.
I thought more of others.
Colors were more vibrant.
When I stopped drinking, I lost weight.
I had more energy.
I cried a lot.
I started therapy.
I cried more
I learned why I drank.
I had more time.
I noticed things.
I dreamt a lot.
I lost some friends.
I made new friends.
I became a better friend.
I learned how to trust.
I fucked up.
I forgave myself.
Now that I have gotten sober:
I accept my disease of alcoholism.
Things have changed.
Life got easier.
I am not afraid of dying.
I am not afraid of living.
I want to live.
I feel lighter.
I pay attention.
I listen more because I am not distracted by my own negative thoughts.
I want to help others.
I am responsible.
I apologize.
I love deeply.
I am not angry.
I am calm.
I am not perfect.
I am ok with not being perfect.
I have faith.
I hold space for uncomfortable feelings.
I have deep and meaningful relationships with family and friends.
I try my best.
I am grateful.
I live one day at a time.
I am free.